In his presence, you pretend to ignore him and look away, hoping that he'll look your way. But when he's no longer there, you look around to find him, and get so disappointed to know that he's gone.
Although you're talking to someone else, your eyes are fixed on him.
You find your textbooks filled with his name, and in the midst of the mess on your schooldesk, you find his name.
Everytime your handphone beeps, you hope to see his name. When it isn't him, you get depressed. When your phone gets quiet, you have the temptation to SMS him. When he doesn't reply, you let your imagination run wild and get sad cause you feel unimportant, and sometimes, you even wonder if he has forgotten your existence.
3/4 of your handphone inbox are his SMSes, and you find yourself unable to delete any of them. When you really have to, you feel your heart ache.
When there's a new movie out, the first person you want to watch it with is him, but you always end up watching it with your friends.
When people mention the words "Valentines' Day", the first thing to appear in your mind is his name.
You realise that your conversations with your friends never fail to include him.
You worry if he would fall for someone else, and it hurts when you know that person will never be you.You find yourself getting so affected by just one word, or one action from him. Sometimes you get angry with him for some reasons, and you feel yourself hating him. But once you see him again, your heart melts and you find yourself loveing him once more.You swore for more than a hundred times NEVER to SMS him again, but found yourself sending a message, and the recipient is him.
You try to forget him, but got reminded of your memories with him. Many times, you force yourself to stop liking him, but found it even harder than killing youself.
You try to convince yourself that you don't like him anymore, but realise that he's always on your mind.While you're reading this, the one that's on your mind again is him, right?
It is tiring to live in pretense and lies. You can't avoid it. Love is cruel; it hurts almost all the time. It's difficult to find two hearts that are willing to beat for each other. Only one, it ain't gonna work. It'll only end up in heartbreak. He's not gonna come and pick up the broken pieces of you. Perhaps he'll just walk over you with another girl by his side. It's hard to put down someone you love, but we still must try. If not, we might all end up doing silly things. But still, we've got to try...
i extracted this from Sarah's latest blog entry. i find it rather true =) sarah, i hope u dont mind ya? =)
