i've come to a point where i'm getting tired of my life. i hardly get a nice sleep these days, worrying about unfinished work and how am i going to survive the next day.
i just want to put down everything and fly..fly to somewhere far and unknown, where there's no internet access or mobile phones. so that i dont have to worry about my groupmates emailing/calling me about projects.
and it stinks because i'm going through this alone. somehow my bf's not part of my life now. we lead 2 separate lifes of our own such that i am starting to forget how it feels like to be loved or to love. i dont feel good about the entire issue, i tried my best to let him know but he makes me feel like i'm insane who wants only attention from him. He fails to know how dependent i have been on him, which is not like me at all.
I am scared of feeling helpless, and i need to regain my independence again; me and myself and nobody else. strangely, i know i can..but when i do, i dont love- i become the most selfish person who protects only herself.
this is the time when i just want to club, let the music and booze take over me. but cheapo me doesnt want to spend on entrance fee and wednesday is ladies night but i have thurs 830am lesson.
=(
