i feel screwed up..screwed up in 22 years of my life. its first time i feel i cant pass a damn exam. this is bad..im in my final year. if i screw this up, i cant graduate on time..im scared..
last night,after jogging, i went to mary's shine. i knelt in front of her, for the first time, praying and thanking her for guiding me through the years..and asking ffor her grace and foregiveness to let me pass this paper. i never felt so scared before, maybe because this is my final year. its so scary the though of failing this.
no matter what others say..i am not comforted at all. i feel so tired from the sleepless nights after this paper. sleeping at 2am waking up at 8am. this is definitely not me..i moment i wake up, the thought of this paper flushed into my head like an alvanche tumbling onto me..its heavy burden cross i have to carry till june when the results are released..
what i am so angry or disappointed about is this.. i studied damn hard for this paper, i did. but the questions were beyond the textbook/notes..something which im not familar with..but the other students had an upper hand due to their finance background. i am accountancy student taking a finance course. i love this course, coz it is interesting, and i decided to follow my heart in staying put in this course.. was it a wrong decision that i made? was it wrong move to follow your heart? please dear Lord, prove me wrong.. i prayed to you regarding if i should stay in this module.. and you guided me to stay on. i really hope i got your message correctly.
the more i type or recollect about the paper, the more heartbroken i feel. 40marks gone out of the window. not even method marks, because i got it all wrong from the start..the method i used is totally wrong. not even a sentence of working is correct. 70% final..70%. out of the remaining 30%. 10% attendence- which i will get. 20% quizz - best 5 out of 8 quizzes. i think i got 4. to get a passing grade : C..seems so tough for me.really.
please pray for me..the only hope i have now is God's Grace and mercy..
